So last Saturday, I went to Being Me Conference with Kakak. To be honest, the venue is not really that conducive. I don't feel really comfortable with the chairs, the hall, the slides.... But anyway, looking forward to the real purpose we were there. To listen to the talk.
Program Schedule
A. #RelationshipGoals by Prof Dr Harlina Siraj
B. Mental Health Awareness by Dr Karen Golden
C. Eating Disorder by Dr Harlina Bahar
D. Millennial Kids by Umm Hud
E. Fostering Wellbeing by Dr Karen Golden
F. Aida in Cancer Wonderland by Sr Aida Munirah Azmi
G. Be at Piece, Not a Pieces by Umm Hud
H. Importance of Seeking Knowledge by Sheikh Ali Ahmed
I . Forum - I'm Okay 2.0
So, the first talk is from Prof Dr Harlina Siraj, whom we love. We went to her talk last year, about Seksual Kanak-Kanak and we already fall in love with her since then. Here are some of the notes and gems from the conference.
A. #RelationshipGoals by Prof Dr Harlina Siraj
🌸 There are 3 types of relationships that we need to focus. Relationship with the :
1. The Creator (Allah) - Hablum Minallah
a) We are created to be servant of Allah.
b) We are entrusted to be Khalifatul Ard : The Representative of Allah on this world.
💡 Self reflection : How is my relationship with my creation?
2. Self : Yours Truly
a) Love yourself
b) Forgive yourself
c) To be true to yourself
🌸 How you look at yourself?- In the eyes of men, women will be just how she looks at herself. If she looks at herself, as a very energizing individual who will benefits others, the men will look the same.
- How you treat yourself set the standard for how others will treated you.
- Be a woman who look after herself.
- Take care of yourself first.
🌸 Self care is not selfish.
🌸 If you want to soar in life, you must first learn to F.L.Y. [F.L.Y = First Love Yourself]
💡 Self reflection : What do you love about yourself?
3. Other Creature - Hablum Minannas
a) Older and more senior
b) Fellow friends
c) Junior and younger children
🌸 49:12 - "O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful."
🌸 A great relationship is all about understanding other people perspective. Use the pause button every time you want to speak something / reply others.
🌸 Focus on your :
1. Spiritual health
2. Emotional health
3. Social health
🌸 As much as you feel other people are trial for you, remember, you are also a trial for others. Sometimes you forget. You always feels that other people were always there to make your life difficult. You also make other people life difficult. So it is fair, isn't it?If you hate someone, remember someone else hates you too.
I love how Dr said about self-care. You know this month I'm all about self-care. Before, all I know about is that we need to take care of our relationship with Allah and with other people, but we tend to forget our relationship with our own self. Aren't we selfish?
B. Mental Health Awareness by Dr Karen Golden
🌸 The language of emotion
- The perfect balanced social, psychological, relational system - Fosters wellbeing.
- Emotional beauty and supports.
🌸 Quran
- This system is divinely designed.
- Language of well-being.
- Quran shows that it is natural to have emotions.
- Islam is beautiful and emotions religion.
🌸 When a flowers doesn't bloom, fix the environment not the flowers.- Supportive culture and environments.
🌸 How to control our negative thoughts :
1. Be aware of the thoughts.
2. Practice to control the thoughts.
3. Evaluate the thoughts.
🌸 Stigma in mental health.
- If the person is known for having mental illness, they are often call as crazy, unproductive, not be able to make decision, not fit to work. Stigma itself is more harmful than the illness.
I need to be honest. I was not paying much attention with all the numbers of people who were diagnosed with mental health. I'm bad with numbers, and I'm not that interested with all the statistic, it's hard to focus. But I love the last part where she told us to be supportive towards people with mental health problems. Our culture in Malaysia is not very supportive. I'm glad that we are able to talk about this issue now. After a few unfortunate suicide events happening to the world, we started to notice more about mental health issue.
C. Eating Disorder by Dr Harlina Bahar
🌸 Girls as young as 6 years old think they are too chubby.
🌸 Eating disorder have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Not depression or anxiety.
🌸 People of all sizes can suffer from eating disorder. You can't tell if someone has an eating disorder just by looking at them.
Everyone might suffer from this. But don't be too hard on yourself. Strive for healthy diet, not extreme diet. Focus on being strong and fit, not thin. Shift your mindset. Eat healthy, exercise, have a healthy mind, relationship and body. Practice mindfulness.
D. Millennial Kids by Umm Hud
🌸 Every kid / person needs :
1. Love
- It all comes from the root.
- Whether the kids growth with love or not.- If the kids don't get enough love, they tend to search for other sources.- Am I getting love from the right sources?
2. Mastery
- We are learning creature.- Let the youth discover what they good at.
- Support them and acknowledge their struggle.
- Acknowledge their struggle.
3. To be truth to himself. Express who he is.
- Let them have opinions.
- Allowing them to express their opinion.
4. Contribution.
- Let them contribute in the house.
🌸 We need to understand human first, before we start with Islam.
- We need to deal with the root of the matter.
- Don't suppress their needs.
🌸 We are limiting. We need to connect with Allah. Make Doas.- Allah did not change. The hands that ask that has changed. Allah is the greatest strength.
🌸 The inner universe within us.- Language of heart.
- The world is getting nosier nowadays. Self care. Talk to your heart.
Future me take note! I pray that I can raise my kids well in the future. Not to suppress their needs. We tend to blame the children if the children rebel. But we forget that sometimes we as the parents that have been suppressing their needs.
E. Fostering Wellbeing by Dr Karen Golden
1. Positive Emotions - What is positive words other than happy?
- Life is not only about happiness
💡Exercise 1 : Happy Board
💡Exercise 2: Strength Board
2. Engagement : Flow
- Relationships in the wifi age.
- Investing your money.
3. Meaning / Purpose (Lose , Questioning)
4. Accomplishment (and Goal Setting)
- Acknowledge the effort you do.
- Worldy and hereafter.
- Patience and vision + discipline.
5. Vitality
You know how we can list all the negatives words in our mind right now; sad, depress, angry, disappointment, unlucky, frustrated. But we lack of positive words. The only positive words we can think of is happiness. Life is much more than happiness. When I first started to get out from my heartbroken, all I want is to be happy. Now I realize that there is a lot of other positive words that I can strive for. Lucky, energizing, optimism, glowing, exciting, successful, healthy, and more! Start to list down your 10 positive words now!
F. Aida in Cancer Wonderland by Sr Aida Munirah Azmi
5 Stages of Grief
1. Denial (+ worried + fear)
2. Anger
3. Bargaining (+ guilt)
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
🌸 It's okay to fall into rabbit hole.
🌸 Wandering is not lost.
🌸 Supporting support system.
🌸 Never stop believing in your self.
🌸 Verily with hardship there is ease.
More to story telling, where she told us about her experience. I almost cry, you know. The part where she finished full marathon in Australia. I was like, OH MY GOSH, GOALS. 😜 I know how hard it is to finish 10 km. My next aim is 15 km and then half marathon, 21 km. I pray that I will be able to finish full marathon one day. She is someone who is recovering from cancer, if she can do it, so am I. By the way, I first learn about the 5 stages of grief from My Love From The Stars. 😂 And through my heartbroken experience, the stages are proven to be true to me. 😅
G. Be at Piece, Not a Pieces by Umm Hud
🌸 He tested us for us to purify, to growth.- Allah wants me to growths.
- It's time to growth.
- What you do outside or ritual but fail inside?
- Learn love, learn care.
- Your true potential, stand up, and forgive.
- Uplift through test.
- Let go.
- Gratefulness.
- The ability to be grateful.- When a guy rejected you , Allah protecting you from your heart.
🌸 When you choose to grow, only then you choose to progress.
Story telling where she shared about her relationship with her dad. Yes, we often question Allah, why He choose us to go through this trial. We can't see the beauty of it. To be honest, I'm glad He made me heartbroken before. I definitely grow from then. And He is definitely saving me for the right man.
H. Importance of Seeking Knowledge by Sheikh Ali Ahmed
💡 1. How much do you know about Allah? How much we spend to know Allah?
💡 2. How do you want to leave your legacy? How do people gonna remember you?
🌸 The reason we despair, is because we have no knowledge.
🌸If you educate a man, you only educate one person. If you educate a women, you educate the entire nation.
I went out for Asar prayer earlier cause I need a break. I'm sorry. But those 2 questions above are enough to make me ponder.
I. Forum - I'm Okay 2.0
🌸 CHE PUAN SARIMAH IBRAHIM
- I'm human being first, others second.
- Allah created me. So I have purpose.
🌸 UMM HUDD
- There is too much ritual in Islam here and not enough actual spirituality. Robotics Salats and looking islamic but not feeling actual love for Allah inside.
- Going to psychtric is Islamic. Go to the right person with qualification and correct profession IS ISLAMIC. Don't go to ustazah if you have fever. Go see a doctor. Go to see psychiatric if you have mental health illness.
🌸 SR ANITA ABU BAKAR
There are 3 types of mental illness:
1. Clinical
2. Gangguan luar
3. Combination of both
🌸 DR TUTI IRYANI
- There are a lot of people suffering from mental health but not so may people are willing to see a psychiatric.The forum was light and interesting. I wasn't taking notes that much. I listened and enjoyed the forum more. If anyone has more notes, please do share with me!
- There is no shame in getting help.
- There are only a few psychiatric in government hospital, others are in private clinic.
// CHECK OUT THE WEBSITES
#BeingMe2018
#BreakingBarriers
DISCLAIMER : This is not a verbatim transcript of the conference and is just based upon my written notes and memory taken during the conference.
I really love this kind of talk. I always love going to talk or conference. I hope someone will benefits from the notes also. I love our MC of the day, Sharifah Sofia is such a bubbly sweetheart. Can we be friend?
That's all. Take care of your body, mind and heart. And remember, Allah loves you!
Love and prayers,
AS
No comments
Post a Comment